Emotional Abuse

Trigger Warning: Abuse, Domestic Violence, Self-Harm, Suicide.

My husband is emotionally abusive. He is also working on it. Finally. There is a lot of work to do.

He has never hit me. Emotional abusers do not need their fists. Their words do all the damage. And it does a lot of damage. 

Emotional abuse is domestic violence. 

And the effects of emotional abuse are serious, severe, life altering, and life threatening. 

Short-term effects of emotional abuse can include isolation and loneliness, self-doubt, shame, confusion, low self-esteem, and feeling powerless. 

Long-term effects can include PTSD/C-PTSD, depression, self-harm, suicide attempts, loss of your sense of self, low self-esteem, anxiety, eating disorders, heart palpitations, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, IBS. This is not an exhaustive list.

Victims of emotional abuse have a much higher rate of self-harm and suicide attempts. I self harm. There have been times when I have been unable to leave the house due to the bruises I've left on my face. 

Emotional abuse is insidious. Often I find myself thinking ... how in the hell did I get here? Because it starts out so subtly. And I can look back at my relationship and see where I think it did start. 

But you see, I was the person who knew and understood domestic violence. I grew up with it. I spent years in therapy. I read and I learned and I understood. I was aware. And yet here I am. 

In the last couple of days I've begun to see just how far reaching the effects of the abuse have been. I am seeing how exposure to it has effected my daughters and, subsequently, affected our relationship. And now, heartbreakingly, is ending those relationships.